Breathing my Mind into Your Face

Do I remember that I have a right to my opinion but that others don’t have to share it? That’s the spirit of “Live and Let Live.” The Serenity Prayer reminds me, with God’s help to “Accept the things I cannot change.” Am I still trying to change others? When it comes to “Courage to change the things I can,” do I remember that my opinions are mine, and yours are yours? Am I still afraid to be me? When it comes to “Wisdom to know the difference,” do I remember that my opinions come from my experience? If I have a know-it-all attitude, aren’t I being deliberately controversial?

This I’m still figuring out. Especially “Wisdom to know the difference.”. I’m at a point where I don’t think I can start a national prohibition movement, but I still engage in the futile pursuit of trying to make my wife less of a slob. I still think I can change her. I’m going to need to let that go. We had a great saturday yesterday. Coached H’s hoops team with the whole family in attendance, including Mimi and Papa. I think we scored one hoop to their 20, but they got sweaty. I went to a new in-person meeting. I didn’t have a lot to relate to at my table but there was still one share that I felt connected to.

I’m really working on living in the present tense. Caffeine intake is an important part of that. When I’m hopped up on caffeine, I’m waiting for the person I’m speaking to to be done so I can talk or move on with my regularly scheduled programming. Everyone has their own pace in this world. I’ve been guilty of a know-it-all attitude in the past. Fruitlessly feeling like I can convince others to my way of thinking via logical debate and a mutual willingness to look at issues objectively. Now I’m old enough to know that’s never worked. I have the wisdom to know that in my career I can have success convincing someone to click on my link or open my email with a well crafted subject line, but I’m not going to convince the NRA that guns are bad. And I don’t have to. I’m at peace. It mainly goes back to my wife. I don’t like it when she tries to tell me what to do all the time. Especially for things she wasn’t a part of and doesn’t really know anything about. It’s like she needs to know or she feels insecure. Even if she hasn’t looked at herself honestly and reflected on what she does and doesn’t know, along with an internal comparison of what the other person may or may not know. That’s a genetic trait of hers. Don’t try to fix it. I’m on this road of recovery and self-improvement and I want her to get on board. I want us to be a thriving unit. I don’t want to leave her behind and start to lead separate lives in the same house. Although, that’s what we were doing when I went to the playroom each evening to get high and/or drunk and she went to our room to read or watch the Kardashians. People keep saying in meetings to “keep my side of the street clean.” I’m assuming that means to just worry about myself. However, I know I’m the type of guy that picks up garbage from my neighbors lawn if I’m walking by it.