I am becoming a better person every day, I have a lot to say. I stopped drinking and drugging. I’m focused more on hugging. I help you, you help me.

11/8/2022: Motivation

Close your eyes and let the rhythm of your mind flow. Find your breath. Ignore your heartburn. I slept in the guest room last night and read Untamed. There is a blood moon lunar eclipse right now that is being partially hidden by some clouds. I’m living. I’m me. I’m off drugs and alcohol. Life should more memorable now. I’ll feel everything more deeply. I’m investing as much time as I spent on alcohol and drug fueled daydreams and time wastes into my recovery. That means listening to podcasts, going to meetings, keeping in touch with my friends from rehab, helping others. All good shit. Letting go and letting god. Allowing my day to happen secure in myself, knowing i’m doing my best and it’s unlikely I’ll change anyone. Don’t do that insecure thing where you’re a smartass disagreer with people. Be upfront, don’t be smarmy. Be honest don’t be underhanded. Have the confidence to disagree in a way that doesn’t seem sarcastic or (What the fuck is that word? When you’re being a dick but in an underhanded way?) Oh yeah, passive aggressive. You can’t be passive and aggressive at the same time. That means don’t  let disagreements bother me. Seek the truth always. Have enough trust in others to know that they have something to offer.

Spread your net far and wide and genuinely. You bring joy to others. KM is dead. Colorectal cancer battle of four years. One of the most gentle, giving, loving souls i’ve ever known. Incredible personal journey and family history. So confident in his uniqueness. So genuine in his desire to help others. Work hard to be free. Be present in every moment, but know what those moments will entail. Schedule your days in more detai. Know what you’ll do then do without excuse or laziness. This is your opportunity. It’s going to be fucking hard. You’re going to cry. Keep trying.

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