Breathing my Mind into Your Face

What a great day. I finally had the energy to get my ass out of bed. No headache either, hells yes. I’d been down for the count for the last four days. Monday-Thursday of last week the only thing keeping me churning was caffeine and adderall. I decided last friday i didn’t want to do Adderall anymore, so i’m off that variety of sauce. I also decided I was done with caffeine but then I got a Dunkin latte the next day so we’re going to have to circle back on that. I like myself, I want myself to be a me that’s free of mind and mood altering substances. However, since I’ve read of the benefits of caffeine I’m okay continuing on with that in lesser quantities. My problem is that I have a tendency to get bingy even with the caffeine intake. Last Thursday when I was fighting the onset of the flu I had three cups of coffee, then a coke at Subway, and a Dr. Pepper for the road. I did that knowing full well I wasn’t going to like how it made me feel. I also delayed my second adderall pill until 4:30 that same thursday because I felt that I needed it to stay on my game for the educational foundation board member holiday white elephant party that night. After the party I sat upstairs in the playroom watching tv with a mad at myself mind, just waiting for sleep to come. I couldn’t sleep so I took a trazedone to help with that. That’s the cycle I’m stopping. I’m liking the no adderall thing and if I can keep the caffeine to two cups a day prior to noon like I did today then I think I’m doing pretty good. Because I’m so goddamn wonderful at self-restraint. Don’t player hate yourself dude, you didn’t drink or smoke weed in the last 77 days. Rejoice bitches!