During my colonoscopy a week ago they used a hot snare to remove a polyp from my rectum. A polyp is a weird looking clump of cells on your colon. Like an inner ass zit. My polyp was of decent size and upon pathology revealed itself to be made of cancer. Next step is to get a CT scan of my chest/abdomen/pelvis to see if there is other cancer lurking. Good news is that all margins were negative for invasive carcinoma and there was no lymphovascular invasion identified. It’s a G2 grade with G1 being the least concerning and G4 the most. I haven’t spoken to the Doctor yet so I’m getting all this info from my online medical chart.
My primary care doc talked to me yesterday morning and told me about the results because the butt doc couldn’t get ahold of me the day prior. I hope to speak to the specialist this morning in more detail. My wife was head of internet research last night and she helped determine that I shouldn’t be overly concerned and that this CT scan is a precaution.
Naturally I spent the day up until then planning the end of my life. Kiss the ring and pay your respects loved ones, it’s been a good run. There’s a life insurance payout that will help complete payments on the house. In twenty years the kids will have a few core memories of dad and think he was a good dude overall. My wife will find another guy that causes her less stress. I should probably start traveling while I’m still healthy enough. A long and vigorous walk in the woods helped displace the death fantasies and allow me to get on with it.
I didn’t sleep well. I’m tired and inspired. I want to start doing more things of interest to me. If I can put in enough work time to keep the checks coming in while cultivating creativity during the other hours, I should be good. I’ll also eat healthy, work out, and be a better husband and father. Sounds easy enough.
Breathing my Mind into Your Face 
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