Breathing my Mind into Your Face

My addiction stems from a lack of confidence. Once drunk I could be charismatic and funny in public. My friend total went way up. People told stories about me. Freshman year of college people called me to find out where the parties were. I felt cool, something I’d never felt in high school.

This charisma alcohol brought out of me also turned me into a complete asshole once I’d pushed through the golden hour buzz and into black out mode. I was little smiley boy when I was younger. I wanted to be nice to everyone. Today I tell my kids to have fun and be nice to people before they get on the bus every morning. I would tell people I’d known forever and people I’d just met what I thought of them when I was drunk. It was like an episode of “When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong” (Dave Chappelle – Keeping It Real – Bing video). I most regret telling women I’d just met that they were followers. Sheep with no conviction that followed trends and did what they thought was cool regardless of what their internal voice told them. I didn’t know those people and didn’t have a right to tell them who they were.