Breathing my Mind into Your Face

Oh my my. I sit and think about the big things like world peace, fighting in Israel and Gaza, and Ukraine. I worry about a world war upending life as I’ve known it. I worry what it will do to my stock portfolio. That money could disappear if the stock market is deemed corrupt and gets shut down. What if I need to take money out when the value of what I own is so low compared to two years ago? 

Then I shift into worrying about stuff around the home. I need to do enough so my wife doesn’t get mad at me. This means ignoring the job that pays so well. I’ve done a couple loads of laundry, swept the floors, picked up all the clutter, and made the bed. This should keep me in my wife’s good graces when she gets home from work later. However, I haven’t done the sales outreach that I need to do so I’m worried about what sort of update I’ll give the boss on the 4:30 operations leadership call. The work worry isn’t that strong since I hate my job. If they fired me I’d freak out about the money thing but would be very happy not to have to promote bullshit for a crap company. Within me the ever present voice telling me to do something leisurely has been subdued by adderall for the day. It’s a tick shit off a checklist kind of day. Not creating anything. I know, I’ll do a fantasy dialogue and that’ll serve as something creative for the day.

Chatting with a friend’s drunk wife at a party. She’s drunk, younger and more pretty than the other wives.

Guy: “Hi, I’m Bob, nice to meet you.”

Girl: “Sarah, nice to meet you too. I’m Jeff’s wife.”

Guy: “Cool. Jeff and I are in the golf league on Wednesday’s. Did you grow up around here?

Girl: “I did, but I didn’t go to school with these guys, I went to an all girls catholic school.”

Guy: I went to catholic school too, but I don’t go to church.

Girl: Me neither. But my dad goes every day and tried to secretly baptize my kid when he was babysitting her.

Guy: Damn!

Girl: Yeah, he thinks me and the baby are going to hell. He wants the kid to be baptized so she can join him in heaven someday.

Guy: Sounds like a real strong faith he’s got there. 

Girl: I know. He really believes that when he dies he’s going to a place called heaven.

Guy: Do you know if people that go to heaven are able to see what’s happening to the people on earth?

Girl: I don’t know for sure. I think you’re isolated in heaven.

Guy: Maybe you could convince him that he can see what’s happening to people on earth and he can be your daughter’s guardian angel. Tell him he can communicate to her by visiting her dreams and influencing her subconscious. Tell him he can override her current lack of religion so that she joins the church as an adult and joins him someday in heaven.

Girl: I like it.

Guy: So is your face always this beautiful or is that part of the costume?

Girl: Oh it’s always like this. For someone dressed as Larry Bird, I was expecting someone uglier.

(Dance music comes on. They start bouncing to the music, side by side.)

Guy: Want to go smoke a joint with me?

Girl: Sure

(Outside)

Guy: Monogamy is a bitch. I don’t think humans are supposed to spend so much of their lives with only one other person. I feel like we’re missing out.

Girl: Society sucks, I hate sneaking around.

Guy: Do you sneak around?

Girl: It’s been known to happen.

Guy puts arms around her waist and kisses her.