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11/7/2022: I Don’t Like to Party
Nothing to say so I just want to get my mind out of the way. Focus on the fingers pushing in the keys. This is the tool I use to address thoughts like these. Too sticky, time for a new keyboard. I do like a hard button to push. Working hard like old Burroughs on…
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10/30/2022 Growing into the Cult
“Wisdom to know the difference.”. I’m at a point where I don’t think I can start a national prohibition movement, but I still engage in the futile pursuit of trying to make my wife less of a slob.
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10/28/2022
I’m sure she misses “golden hour” me that was charming and funny a few drinks in before turning into “Midnight” me that that couldn’t walk and could only talk long enough to be an asshole.
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10/27/2022 No More Party Boy
I’m putting her through a lot by going from party boy to saint in a three week span.
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10/22/2022 Saturday Night
He’s a fellow rehab grad that said he was going to kill himself on the group chat
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10/21/2022 3AM Sleep Stoppage
Damnit, here I am again in the middle of the night. I’ve obviously got a bad case of the stinky thinky’s since I spent the last fifteen minutes convincing myself I was superman and four and a half hours of sleep a night would suffice for me for the rest of my life. Especially since…
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10/20/2022 Evening Reflection
I really hate doing this at 12:45 AM. I should be sleeping soundly in that cloud of a bed upstairs. I took my prescribed trazedone and adderax at bedtime, yet here i sit in the office with a mind on overdrive. That first step is on my mind. After introducing myself to the AA Zoom squad yesterday, I’m…
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10/16/2022 D-Day
Remember that drugs and alcohol are poisons that invade and harm my body and also take over my middle brain. Make recovery the top priority. This will prevent me from all the negative consequences that drinking and weed have caused in my life. Trust yourself and you will be able to trust others. Use at…
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10/15/2022 2:45AM Saturday
“It’s 2:45 in the morning, and I’m putting myself on warning.” – Elliott Smith. I can’t stop thinking about the disagreement / difficult conversation my wife and I had yesterday between 8:30-9pm. She feels like she’s not getting the support she needs and she is having a tough time dealing with the fact that we…
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Breathing my Mind into Your Face 