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The Doldrums
I’m pretty sure I’m unhappy. But I also want to stop taking Lexipro. I want to strip away the substances and get down to my core equilibrium. Then I can find out how I’m really doing. My moments of happiness have become few and far between. A time of happiness is something I define by…
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Privileged Dreams
I successfully left reality behind but I didn’t enjoy stuffing myself with shit. The genitalia was cool, but I didn’t enjoy the extra three pounds the next morning nor the headache.
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Stuart Smalley
I have always escaped my reality with drugs and alcohol because I don’t have the confidence and courage to fight for what I want in life. How do I gain confidence in who I am? How can I feel like I’m enough? How do I keep pushing when I fail? I have to learn how to…
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Me the Hypocrite
Sweet mother of christ, I sure do piss a lot during the night. I got up to pee four times last night. Full loads each time. Then I’d read Pachinko for a while before falling back asleep. I’ve been reading a lot of books lately that follow multiple generations of a family. In each one…
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Always on Drugs
I can’t decide if I want to always be on drugs or if I’d rather be completely straight edge with the exception of Lipitor for cholesterol. By seven this morning I’d already had: This evening it will be my goal to not smoke a joint. If tonight is like last night I will not achieve…
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Wife Throws Up
She had a bad case of the heaves and needed to get her head in the toilet stat. I helped her get situated for a long puke session, closed the door to drown out the groaning, guttural regurgitation then went back to bed.
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Male on Male Emotion
Once we’re done bullshitting about Michigan State sports, so and so’s great tits, and everything the kids have going we get more into what living our best life means, what pisses us off, what we can do to help each other.
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Are the Kids Okay?
I’m sure they had the same nervousness I feel when I’m around a drunk person. Walking on eggshells because they’re so unpredictable. One minute I could be screaming Weezer at the top of my lungs and the next I could berate them for not joining in.
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Who I Thought You Were
My addiction stems from a lack of confidence. Once drunk I could be charismatic and funny in public. My friend total went way up. People told stories about me. Freshman year of college people called me to find out where the parties were. I felt cool, something I’d never felt in high school. This charisma…
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Breathing my Mind into Your Face 