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10/13/2022 Why I’m an Addict
Zits, bullying, books knocked out, tie yanks, last name rhymes with gay, catholic school, moving states in middle of 3rd grade, moving schools after fourth grade, family that doesn’t connect emotionally (No I love you’s or hugs until after first inpatient visit to rehab), late bloomer / no pubes, lack of honesty despite dad stressing…
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10/13/2022 Day 8
Dad always stressed the importance of honesty then he lied all the time. He’d say, “Do as I say not as I do.” I’m the same way. I pride myself on my candidness then lie out of insecurity. I lie to myself, but mostly to others. I have to speak truth and work on bettering…
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10/12/2022 Day 7
I had this vivid dream just now. I lived next to Jay Z and Beyonce. I was on the deck about to spark up a joint but then I saw Blue Ivy standing on her balcony looking at me with disappointment in her eyes. However, in the next frame of the dream I was convincing…
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10/12/2022 Day 7
I’m so thankful to have my wife in my life as my person to be with forever. I’m proud of myself for having the courage to be here at rehab but know I wouldn’t have come without her doing the legwork and setting it up. She made the calls and did the research. She researched…
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10/11/2022 Day 6
I’m an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. I’ve been up since 4:30am. Hammies are killing me from restorative yoga yesterday. I’m anxious to call my wife to see how the ER went last night. H was having a scan to see if he got a concussion from his fall from a tree the other day.…
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10/9/22 Day 4
Are all alcoholics naturally damaged, depressed people that use because life seems pointless? Maybe I just got fucked up along the way and something happened to make life frustrating and worth drowning out. I want to love myself. I’ve always been a contrarian. I always poke holes in any group or system. I want to…
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Day 3 – Being Good Feels Good
I think AA is right for me. These are all people that can’t drink just like me. It’s a chance to help people and allow someone to help me. I have to create boundaries with my wife about what makes me uncomfortable. I have to set aside time to meet with people like me so…
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Breathing my Mind into Your Face 