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The Demise and Rise of a Toaster
I like my chocolate chip banana bread toasted with butter. I’m a fat boy like that. This batch of my wife’s bread was especially doughy. The slice I put in the toaster was wide. I shoved it between the toaster’s prison bars and tried to start the toaster. No heat, no buttons lit up, bread…
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The Way of the Week
It’s Friday morning and I just finished my 3rd cup of coffee from the Japanese made fine bone china Tiffany mug given to me by a business partner. Each year they send a singular Tiffany cup of some description. It’s tucked in the back of the mug cupboard, but I wanted to feel like an…
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Men Suck
I’m sitting behind my desk with my gaze tilted rightward in order to observe the words my fingers punch on my big monitor. My right heel taps continuously on the carpet as the Adderall, nicotine, and caffeine course through me. Necessary supplements, without which I’d never leave the recliner. My hunger is returning now that…
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Drunk Thursday Sex
After the bar closed they went home with a couple random dudes. One was married, one divorced. She says she didn’t do anything.
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Best Jerk Session Ever!
She gets bound by the four corners of the bed while some dude goes to town on her with a ball ended vibrator that was hilariously plugged into the wall.
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Convulsions
After Taco Bell, I sorted the mail, setting aside my psilocybin microdoses for the month and my Stasis day/night pills that supposedly normalize me via natural ingredients in the face of my daily Adderall intake.
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Re-Say your Monday
I woke up at 8:25, 25 minutes later than I’d hoped. I went to bed just after 1am. My younger kid was still at home, but my older one made it to the bus stop ahead of his first day back after being out for a week with the flu. Mom would take the youngin…
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Breathing my Mind into Your Face 