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Re-Say your Monday
I woke up at 8:25, 25 minutes later than I’d hoped. I went to bed just after 1am. My younger kid was still at home, but my older one made it to the bus stop ahead of his first day back after being out for a week with the flu. Mom would take the youngin…
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Naturally Nervous
I want to get to an Adderall free and cannabis lite future in which I microdose psilocybin capsules.
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The Doldrums
I’m pretty sure I’m unhappy. But I also want to stop taking Lexipro. I want to strip away the substances and get down to my core equilibrium. Then I can find out how I’m really doing. My moments of happiness have become few and far between. A time of happiness is something I define by…
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Privileged Dreams
I successfully left reality behind but I didn’t enjoy stuffing myself with shit. The genitalia was cool, but I didn’t enjoy the extra three pounds the next morning nor the headache.
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Stuart Smalley
I have always escaped my reality with drugs and alcohol because I don’t have the confidence and courage to fight for what I want in life. How do I gain confidence in who I am? How can I feel like I’m enough? How do I keep pushing when I fail? I have to learn how to…
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Me the Hypocrite
Sweet mother of christ, I sure do piss a lot during the night. I got up to pee four times last night. Full loads each time. Then I’d read Pachinko for a while before falling back asleep. I’ve been reading a lot of books lately that follow multiple generations of a family. In each one…
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Make Marriage Work
It’s 6am on Friday. I can always do better also means nothing is ever good enough. This blessing and curse of my nature bit me in the ass last Saturday. My family was driving to the in-laws and my wife had a sense that I was annoyed with her. She asked if I was mad…
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Always on Drugs
I can’t decide if I want to always be on drugs or if I’d rather be completely straight edge with the exception of Lipitor for cholesterol. By seven this morning I’d already had: This evening it will be my goal to not smoke a joint. If tonight is like last night I will not achieve…
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Scare Parenting
I dreaded my Dad’s look of disgust and disappointment when I would fuck up. He’d say, “What the hells the matter with you?” and “You jerk” to really get me down. I’m trying to reverse this behavior with my parenting style.
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Wife Throws Up
She had a bad case of the heaves and needed to get her head in the toilet stat. I helped her get situated for a long puke session, closed the door to drown out the groaning, guttural regurgitation then went back to bed.
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Breathing my Mind into Your Face 