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Stuart Smalley
I have always escaped my reality with drugs and alcohol because I don’t have the confidence and courage to fight for what I want in life. How do I gain confidence in who I am? How can I feel like I’m enough? How do I keep pushing when I fail? I have to learn how to…
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Me the Hypocrite
Sweet mother of christ, I sure do piss a lot during the night. I got up to pee four times last night. Full loads each time. Then I’d read Pachinko for a while before falling back asleep. I’ve been reading a lot of books lately that follow multiple generations of a family. In each one…
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Shut Up Keep Going
It’s 2:54 AM and I’m not sleeping. Undoubtedly because of the double dose of Adderall today. I took 40 mg instead of my prescribed 20 mg for no great reason. I thought maybe it’d make me rock that much harder. I did rock pretty hard but already consider tomorrow a loss. Tough shit fast Freddy,…
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Scare Parenting
I dreaded my Dad’s look of disgust and disappointment when I would fuck up. He’d say, “What the hells the matter with you?” and “You jerk” to really get me down. I’m trying to reverse this behavior with my parenting style.
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Missing Memories
It’s hard to execute on this 6-7 daily writing routine when I’ve got two boys in the kitchen that want breakfast and things to play. I made it happen because I’m selfish and this is my success routine. Daily agenda: 6-7: write 7-8: AA 8-9: Bus stop and walk or OrangeTheory if going to 8:30…
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Not perfect, but not homeless
Drinking was me getting comfortable giving up.
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Please Stop Using Crack
My brother is supposed to go to detox today. I think he will go. He’s unemployed and will lose his wife if he doesn’t. My bro-in-law sounded the alarm a couple weeks ago after visiting Atlanta. I spoke with his wife yesterday and she’d found a crackpipe and crack rock in his sock drawer. Apparently he’s…
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Polychronopolous
During my me vs. me staring contest earlier I heard that asshole inside me. Telling me I couldn’t.
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Rested yet Sleepy
Today can I please close my eyes? Shut the fuck up. This is when you need to exhibit grit.
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Breathing my Mind into Your Face 