Breathing my Mind into Your Face

Well now that I’ve seen all the boobs and camel toes on Instagram, I’m out of bed. It’s six AM and I slept three hours. I’ll double dose Adderall today to keep things moving. I’ll crash tomorrow. I’m going to research how to become an AirBnB millionaire until my 9:30 OrangeTheory class. Kids get screens back today so I don’t expect to do much parenting this morning. They were grounded from screen time for fighting too much at camp, twice. One more time and they’re kicked out. Next week is the last week before 2nd and 4th grade starts. No screen time during the week once school starts. I looked into some activities we can do today. My wife wants to give the kids a “yes” day where apparently we just say “yes” to whatever they want. What the fuck kind of brat building idea is that? We already buy them most of the stuff they ask for. Christ, we give them each $10 just for taking the garbage out once a week. I want them to be smart, hard-working, compassionate people that don’t give up easily. However, I’m hardly raising them. I’m taking care of them instead. I researched cider mills, kayaking rentals, great burger spots, mini golf, and arcades in an effort to find more fun. Fun fun fun till daddy takes the T-Bird away. Shouldn’t I be forcing them to create fun with two sticks and a leaf so they’ll be resourceful? Or at least make them earn some of the shit we do for them? Get some A’s and help some old lady’s cross the street dudes. I’m the lazy fuck that will buy velcro shoes and wipe their ass until their 18 rather than providing in-depth shoe tying and ass wiping training. Monkey see monkey do dipshit. 

I have a couch on one side of the garage that’s prevented me from parking there for a year. Even though I could sell it I’ll probably give it away on FB marketplace. I need to bring the rest of the sectional down from the upstairs playroom in order to make the couch complete. Then I could get some cash for it. Then I’d need to find something to replace it in the playroom. I also need to get my kids desks and do something about the baby changing table dresser in the guest room since our youngest is seven and he now sits on the toilet when I wipe his ass. And you want to have hard workers that don’t give up easily? But leading by example is out of the question? Shit, this is a quandry.