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Please Stop Using Crack
My brother is supposed to go to detox today. I think he will go. He’s unemployed and will lose his wife if he doesn’t. My bro-in-law sounded the alarm a couple weeks ago after visiting Atlanta. I spoke with his wife yesterday and she’d found a crackpipe and crack rock in his sock drawer. Apparently he’s…
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Polychronopolous
During my me vs. me staring contest earlier I heard that asshole inside me. Telling me I couldn’t.
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Booze Bros
My brother is heavy on my mind. My blood and fellow alcoholic. He doesn’t think he has a problem outside of his control. My brother-in-law went to Atlanta for a visit last week and spent some time with bro and his wife. The report back was that an intervention is needed ASAP to save his marriage…
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Dad at the Nudist Colony
Did dad trim his bush before heading out to the nudist colony? Do all guys like boobs as much as me? I almost exclusively follow hot women with big boobs on Instagram. I know stranger’s areolas better than my own kids faces. Is that universal? I remember walking down a Venice sidewalk at the age…
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Pulling Teeth
Hi I’m Matt and I’m alive which is pretty badass. I’m just a speck in this big ass universe that’s sharing some air space with you sexy motherfuckers tonight. Might as well enjoy it. I’m married with two boys ages 7 and 9. On the whole I like being a dad but they definitely make…
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Rested yet Sleepy
Today can I please close my eyes? Shut the fuck up. This is when you need to exhibit grit.
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Boring Zoo Animal
I’m like a goat at the zoo. Nobody wants to see the male, middle class white guy exhibit but I stay fed thanks to my handlers, the forefathers of the USA. My life in captivity keeps me fat but not hungry, protected from greatness by safety. I’ve got a longer life expectancy. I’m protected by my…
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The Splendid and the Vile: Review
War is horrible and you have to have a willingness to die so as not to look too French.
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Review of Persepolis
My life in captivity that keeps me fat but not hungry, protected from greatness by safety.
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Breathing my Mind into Your Face 