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I’m Spoiling the Kids
I’m the lazy fuck that will buy velcro shoes and wipe their ass until their 18 rather than providing in-depth shoe tying and ass wiping training.
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Make Marriage Work
It’s 6am on Friday. I can always do better also means nothing is ever good enough. This blessing and curse of my nature bit me in the ass last Saturday. My family was driving to the in-laws and my wife had a sense that I was annoyed with her. She asked if I was mad…
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Fungi Fun Guy
I felt like I was at the mall in sixth grade struggling to see the 3D image contained within the picture everyone could see. If only I could blur my eyes the right way.
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Shut Up Keep Going
It’s 2:54 AM and I’m not sleeping. Undoubtedly because of the double dose of Adderall today. I took 40 mg instead of my prescribed 20 mg for no great reason. I thought maybe it’d make me rock that much harder. I did rock pretty hard but already consider tomorrow a loss. Tough shit fast Freddy,…
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Always on Drugs
I can’t decide if I want to always be on drugs or if I’d rather be completely straight edge with the exception of Lipitor for cholesterol. By seven this morning I’d already had: 250 MG Antabuse (makes me very sick if I consume alcohol) 1000 MG Fish Oil (I hear it’s good for you) Prebiotic…
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Here, There, Everywhere
I’m moving too fast, can’t create. Cut caffeine at eight, lifted weight, but my leg still shakes. Took 2nd Adderall at 3, too late?
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Masturbation
He spits in his hand to get hard when jerking it? I’ve never spit in my hand before to help jerk. I’ve spit in my hand to confirm an important deal between the cowboys and Earp’s in Tombstone at the okay corral. I’ve spit on my hand to wipe dirt off my kids face. Hell I’ve…
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Scare Parenting
I dreaded my Dad’s look of disgust and disappointment when I would fuck up. He’d say, “What the hells the matter with you?” and “You jerk” to really get me down. I’m trying to reverse this behavior with my parenting style.
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Wife Throws Up
She had a bad case of the heaves and needed to get her head in the toilet stat. I helped her get situated for a long puke session, closed the door to drown out the groaning, guttural regurgitation then went back to bed.
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Male on Male Emotion
Once we’re done bullshitting about Michigan State sports, so and so’s great tits, and everything the kids have going we get more into what living our best life means, what pisses us off, what we can do to help each other.
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